what-if’s and maybe’s

i miss feeling like this…the first sting of infatuation’s kiss. it was damning, at times, it was terrifying, but there were something almost beautiful about the raw intensity of it all…

Mecca-Amirah Jackson

it is as if you nourish yourself on my pain. you must revel in
my agony, it must be the truth because there is no possible
way you do not see how much you mean to me. it is there,
in my eyes. fevered, you once reached over
and layed your hand on my forehead in concern.
how could you not recognize the first sign of infatuation?
it struck me like a disease; my body swelled in warning,
my blood ran hot like a broken faucet. my body curled into
its like a wounded animal. i howled while my body fought off my
feelings for you. you were the panacea and the poison,
the savior to my destruction, you swooped down on angel
wings while i willingly set myself on fire. my thoughts
are swollen with images of you; each time
i pause to touch and test the wound,
twinges of…

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