i’ve forgotten

I’ve forgotten how to be soft, tender, and warm.
I’m standing amid a snowstorm and it’s starting to feel like home.
When did it begin? Was it with him? Taking something from me time and time again, I’m used to shivering in the cold. naked and defenseless, when’s the last time an embrace was offered, no guarantees extended?
I react slower now; my footsteps struggle as if encased in cement. my body in hibernation; maybe it was when we first met?
I should have trusted the signs, darkening clouds, and blaring traffic lights. I should have seen it coming but loneliness has a way of slipping through my defenses. Even the thickest walls can be penetrated when you feel as if you are dying on the inside. 
I’m not sue when it began but I’m here now, buried underneath my greatest fear.

-Mecca-Amirah Jackson

For more, check out my latest poetry collection: https://www.amazon.com/Weightless-Complete-Collection-Mecca-Amirah-Jackson/dp/B08L49J65G/ref=sr_1_4?dchild=1&keywords=mecca-amirah+jackson&qid=1607544579&sr=8-4