the story of the moon and a girl who is too afraid to call it home.
it’s not because she is reluctant – it is quite the opposite.
have you ever desired something so strongly
you are afraid of the outcome?
when i look back at my relationship with Fate,
she has forsaken me many times and
has led me astray.
so many darkened paths and haunted moans,
i’ve never felt so alone underneath the summer sun.
sweltering under his gaze, i can only pray
that he will make me forget–even if it for one day.
but the moon never forgets–she seems to carry
my sins stitched in her starry clock.
how many times has she come to collect
at my bedroom window?
how many times has she seen me collapse?
i’ve fallen apart so many times,
my spine has become curved,
like a crescent moon. i’ve been humbled
by her presence as she’s seen my facade crack.
i’m afraid to call her home. it would be sublime to finally rest
without a worry in the world. the lull, the promise of her embrace,
she would extinguish all of my worries and spark joy in my heart.
but–i cannot rest.
how can i change my course when suffering is all i’ve ever known?
this body i carry – this weighty flesh holding me down – was not made
to rest. it was not built for beauty; i was built to endure. i was shaped
with patient hands and fevered whispers. my ancestors have seen the consequences
of beauty. they have cursed my hips and breasts.
they know the world will crush beauty to make her into a diamond
that we all gather around in awe.
there have been too many diamonds – it’s time for me to stand up.
i am the moon’s daughter but my mission has always been understood –
i will endure until it is my time to finally rest beside her – joining
my sisters and mothers who have carried the torch this long.