the story of the moon

the story of the moon and a girl who is too afraid to call it home.

it’s not because  she is reluctant – it is quite the opposite.

have you ever  desired something so strongly 

you are afraid of the outcome?

when i look back at my relationship with Fate,

she has forsaken me many times and

has led me astray.

so many darkened paths and haunted moans,

i’ve never felt  so alone underneath the summer sun.

sweltering under his gaze, i can only pray

that he will make me forget–even if it for one day.

but the moon never forgets–she seems to carry

my sins stitched in her starry clock. 

how many times has she come  to collect 

at my bedroom window?

how many times has she seen me collapse?

i’ve fallen apart so many  times,

my spine has become curved,

like a crescent moon. i’ve been humbled

by her presence as she’s seen my facade crack.

i’m afraid to call her home. it would be sublime to finally rest

without a worry in the world. the lull, the promise of her embrace,

she would extinguish all of my worries and spark joy in my heart.

but–i cannot rest.

how can i change my course when suffering is all i’ve ever known?

this body i carry – this weighty flesh holding me down – was not made

to rest. it was not built for beauty; i was built to endure. i was shaped

with patient hands and fevered whispers. my ancestors have seen the consequences

of beauty. they have cursed my hips and breasts.

they  know the world will crush beauty to make her into a diamond

that we all gather around in  awe.

there have been too many diamonds – it’s time for me to stand up.

i am the moon’s daughter but my mission has always been understood – 

i will endure until it is my time to finally rest beside her – joining

my sisters  and mothers who have carried the torch  this long.