never again

i am no longer me; i lost her. i fought hard, for her. i tried to protect her. she’s gone now. lost in a self-inflicted tragedy, will she ever enjoy writing again? Advertisements

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Reflective ii (trauma)

  <Reflective ii> (trauma) Memories so bleak, I seem to have forgotten– {heaven-sent or trauma}–I have seem to forgotten the moment you shattered me beyond repair. You ripped me apart; took a yellow hand and punched into my chest. What hurts more– the impact or the accusations? How grotesque my heart appeared outside of my […]

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like fertilizer

i wish i could garden from my concrete walls. could i spread my petals from between window panels? does thorns pierce through manmade as easily as he pierced through my heart? if heartbreak could be cultivated and harvested, spritzed with pesticides and doused in the misery- mist of polluted lies and boys who swear they […]

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traffic

she stands so dispassionately, yet she commands attention like a traffic light. red, yellow, green; three shades of truths that waver depending on you. he passes by her, he covets the way she dips her shoulders under the weight of rain. she dances with her eyelashes, she flutters and kicks, she spins with purpose, she […]

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i dream in colors–

i dream in colors– i bleed in reds and blues, i scream in purples and greens, i vomit in neon. my hair is brown, my skin is yellow, my veins are miles long, my stretch marks ripple down my hips like waves. we kiss like fireworks: he tastes like the fourth of july when he […]

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silent

Writing is my solstice; Writing saved me In ways that you will Never know. I used to Think what would Be said at my funeral: “She was great, Oh Lord, she was great,” But instead of that, I want it to be silent. No words through Lips and teeth, no Tongue to sway others As […]

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grey

These emotions inside of me Are demanding to be let out. When people ask me Bland and horrible things Like: “how are you” and My favorite, “are you okay”, I wish I could express myself Without raging, I wish I could Express myself without breaking down And crying, I wish I could express myself Without […]

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Just love

Love when the lights are Off and the music has gone silent. Love when the room is empty. Love when you are standing Alone in front of the mirror. Love when you smile awkwardly, Love the stretchmarks That trace your skin lovingly. Love the little fat On your stomach, Shimmy and wiggle and Love the […]

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let me put your mind at ease…

if you cannot appreciate my magic, then leave. if you expect me to grovel for your love, your respect, your body, your sex, your smile, then i am not the woman for you. my light shines bright, blinds those who are unworthy of my gold daily, who are you to think you deserve more than your […]

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worth it

He may have given me the push, The push in the right direction. I admit My fall backs, I admit my hesitancy. He may have given my sweet daydreams and Steamy nights. The influence of him gave me the push to succeed in my endeavors of loving me, trusting me, I became underneath your gaze. I […]

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