i feel balanced–it’s strange, but not unwelcome.
i am used to feeling too much, my glass always spilling on the sides,
or nothing at all, a numbness that penetrates my teeth, toes,
a hollow echoing. but now, i’m lucid. i feel, at a distance. i can think clearly.
the well of creativity is deeper than before but i won’t stop digging,
grasping until fingertips are wet with magic. i feel like coasting on rapids;
my boat jerks and spins but my lifejacket is secure.
hands grasp at the edge but they always pull back empty.
i sacrificed a lot to be here–content– and i will never regret it.
the friends lost, relationships severed, too much alone time until i offended
everyone even though i was doing right, because in the end, it’s me against the universe.
me versus a spray of meteor showers, intergalactic, no gravity. i’m ecstatic.